I have to say, I am incredibly shocked at how delayed they both are considering they had one full year with foster family, and then have been with same family since July. Their speech is atrocious. You can barely understand the little one. Big sis has to "translate" for me. It is so bad that it took me one full day to realize that Little was calling Big Sis a nickname of her name. I just didn't think she could say it.
So, they are 3 and 4 but share a birthday in a month will be 4 and 5. And neither one knows their colors, they can count to 10 and sing the ABC song, but they don't know what letters are what, and so on. Big Sis doesn't even know how to tie her shoes. My Princess didn't when she came to me at 5 either, but she didn't come from another foster home, she came from a neglectful bio home. In fact, her lack of knowledge was evidence of the neglect.
It is really sad. And as far as I know, from what the FM said, they don't go to preschool. Unless someone starts working with Big Sis there is no way she will be ready for Kindergarten next year.
They both still wear pull-ups at night, with Big Sis having tinkled through both of hers. The first night, they both said that they didn't tinkle. Well, silly me, I didn't double check, so we spent the entire day with a tinkle filled pull-up mixed in with their clothes. Then, the LYING. Oh my THE LYING. Now I get the many threads on this issue. I have NEVER seen lying like this, NEVER. I so understand those other threads where the poster says that this isn't normal. If one of those children were to report SA to me in such a short time, I would not even be able to believe it because they lie so much. I just don't get it.
I am really sad and disheartened for these children. And the physical indicators of alcohol abuse on Little Sis are pretty strong. FM mentioned this on the phone. They both seem to have a hard time retaining things like names. They have to continually ask me my name or what Chubbs' name is, especially the little one. And they are obsessed with meals. As soon as we finish lunch, Little Sis asks when is dinner. FM also warned me about this one, she has to have a strong rule that they get no seconds. THAT is hard for me because lets face it, there are times kids go through spurts and they eat more. But, I see where she is coming from. They eat so fast, if they get seconds, I could see them gorging and getting sick.
We'll see how things go as they go to daycare this week. As far as I know, they've never been. I think it will be great for them, but I do expect to get a phone call.
This has been an eye-opener for me though on how other foster families do things. FM hasn't texted/called to ask how things are going. Girls haven't even asked about that family either. When my girls were in respite, I called at least 2 times a day, LOL. That mom didn't text cause she was busy. But, the kids call her by first name, not like "Miss" or "Mom" which for such little kids I find a bit odd too since they have bio kids there. I don't know, it is just off. And then I feel guilty feeling this way because we have all been quick to warn other posters when they do respite and start having bad feeling about the kids' foster family.
I don't mean to imply that they aren't being cared for, do not get me wrong. But, I am just really surprised to see how far behind they are and why they don't have any services in place. For all I know, maybe they are on hold since July to get them. But wow.
And they didn't cry or anything when they got into my car. Just jumped on in. This made me think about how said it is for these children that they have no concept of what a "stranger" really is and are so used to trusting strangers, and thus making them even more vulnerable. There is something really odd about Big Sis's head as if she had a pretty horrible fall on her forehead or something.
Anyway, I thought I'd post an update to my first time respite and handling three kids. Even with Chubbs being sick, we've been managing. The only real drag about having the three is how dang hard it is to seat belt the booster seats in with Chubbs' seat in the middle.
Last edited by TemporaryMom : Yesterday at 06:39 PM.
Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/409492-temporary-mom-three-surviving-so-far.html
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